An Apology and the Aftermath...

After Kevin's accident, we moved back up north to Wisconsin. I think my family thought that it would be easier to take care of Kevin where the everyday rat race was a lot less hectic than in Milwaukee. Perhaps they just wanted to get away from the place where the accident happened.

While we lived in Wisconsin, my parents had met with a lawyer about what happened. I didn't know the details of what exactly they talked to him about, but I found out later what happened. The main problem with this "case" is that the EMS providers who responded that night had assumed that Kevin was hyperventilating, and did not administer oxygen. Instead they used a bag or mask over his face for the treatment of hyperventilation, thus depriving his brain of oxygen. The case did go to court, my parents sued the Milwaukee Fire Dept/EMS. They lost the case, but the medic did say they made a mistake. I guess that is what they were looking for.

Do I agree with my parents regarding taking them to court? No I don't. The case never helped anyone. I have been in the medic's shoes once, second guessing everything you did on the call. The circumstances were completely different in my case. I wasn't the one on trial, just a witness for the prosecution. After I found out about the case I blamed the EMS workers that night for the death of my brother. I was only ten years old. Was it right of me? No. Do I know exactly what they saw that night? Absolutely not. But in the back of my mind I have always thought about it, "what if they would have done something different?" Would it have changed anything?

There have been nights when I think back on calls that have gone wrong, (bad outcomes), that I have run and think to myself "is this what those guys felt like the night of Kevin's accident?" If so, I am sorry I ever blamed you for his death. I know that you were only doing what you were trained to do. Hopefully you did your job to the best of your abilities that night, and can rest peacefully. I do have to say that this whole thing changed me forever. In some ways good and some ways bad. From the time I started my EMS training I vowed to myself NEVER to let myself become complacent in my duties or training. I also made the impossible vow to myself to never screw up on a call. The people I have trained and work with know how I am in regards to training and performance. Typical TYPE A personality, some say VERY ANAL. Some have asked, if brave enough, why I push everyone as hard as I do. I push everyone around me to be the best they can, to practice until they get it right, and then practice it more, so they can rely on their training and be confident in their skills. I admit that sometimes I come off way to hard and demanding, but others say that if I chew them out for something they did wrong they will never forget how to do it right. A lot of them don't know what happened, and the ones that do, know why I push them so hard. God forbid, even though I know it happens, that anyone will ever have to go through what Kevin had to go through. If I, or someone I have trained can be there to change just one persons life I will be happy.