The Accident

So what makes a person decide what they are going to do with their life? Is it your parents? Your faith or lack thereof? Your very few life experiences while growing up? I think it may be very different for everyone. I believe I know where mine came from... The experience of my brother's accident and my father.

I remember most of the details like it was yesterday. Most likely because I think about it on some level on a daily basis. Some days I think long and hard on it, others I don't even blink an eye about it. Maybe in some ways I never had "closure". How can someone ever really have any closure on an event that will live with you forever...

At the time we lived in Milwaukee, WI. I still had an intact family unit at the time. I don't remember a lot of the details about where exactly we lived, but if I hear a ice cream truck on the TV or anywhere else I can picture the old neighborhood in an instant. The events of that night changed my family FOREVER... It was bedtime and of course being 2 boys sleeping in the same room at our ages must have been a hand full for my parents. We were getting ready for bed and I remember bits and pieces up to that point. Kevin was pulling his PJ shirt over his head. I must have been messing with him somehow, being the older brother and all, when he went running out of the room to tell on me. The little tattle tale. Well while running into the living room Kevin tripped on the new carpeting our landlord had just placed in the duplex. The only thing the landlord didn't put down was the edging strip and Kevin caught his foot. I remember coming out of our room and seeing Kevin mid-air, then landing throat first onto the coffee table. How many times has this ever happened before? Sure a little bump on the chin, no big deal. This time was different. Kevin got up from the floor with a panic look on his face. He was holding his hands on his throat. His face was blue. My dad knew something was wrong and jumped into action. I still remember the look of panic on Kev's face very vividly, I know the look oh too well. My dad tried opening the airway to no avail. I remember my mom crying in the background, then following my dad out the front door. I couldn't move I was froze. Mom grabbed my arm and started pulling me out the door. "We need to bring your brother to the hospital" she said. I know he was breathing at that time, because I can hear the stridor with every breath. I don't know how long it took us to get to the hospital, but the ten mile trip seemed to last forever.

The hospital waiting room was a pale green, and had a very sterile appearance. Time stood still while we waited. Mom was crying and Dad was in with Kev. Finally my mom and are called into the ER. The doctor was saying something about everything looking OK, and that my parents need to keep an eye on him for the night and bring him back if they thought he needed to be seen. We return home with obvious relief on every one's face. Being so late there wasn't much messing around with us. I was just relieved to not see the look of panic on Kevin's face anymore. My parents decided that it would be best if Kevin slept with them for the night so they could keep an eye on him. I don't think it took me that long to fall asleep that night. I thought everything was going to be okay. Oh how wrong I was......